My German Wife Destroys the Greatest Cocktail Ever Invented

Oh God, My Wife Is German.

worst-cocktail-mixed-drink-gross-green-cream “There’s just something not quite right about this beverage…” — (Image Credit: Vee Satayamas [] Subject to CC 2.0 License. Photo modified to look nasty.) So back in the summer of 2016, my German wife and I flew to Portland for a nice, long vacation. We visited our dearest friends and family members, bought some refreshingly affordable jeans (good jeans are crazy expensive in Germany), and indulged in fine food and strong drink — especially the drink part.

See, I may or may not have gone ballistic and pounded every single alcoholic beverage set in front of me like a thirsty pirate. We’ll never know for sure, because it’s your word against mine, and I can’t remember because I was blacked out at the time. But one thing I most certainly do remember, was sitting in my parent’s living room, enjoying a nice, quiet, holiday evening, and then taking…

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