Adrian Blevins: My Problem with the Rules

Vox Populi

If my nine-year-old son behaves in any manner contrary to the rules and regulations by which humankind has agreed to conduct itself since the day we got civilized and invented Ivory soap, Dr. Pepper, and the electric chair, I’ll find out.  Because third-grade teachers function by the when-in-doubt, tell-the-Mom strategy of controlling student behavior, my son can commit no sin without coming home weighed down by the note his teacher will have emphatically zippered into the lower pocket of his backpack.  She’ll either write a description of my son’s behavior on a sheet of yellow paper, or she’ll check it off on the pre-printed form.  This form lists the most common offenses—DisputesAuthority, Is Disruptive, Uses Profanity, Writes on Desk, Falls Backward in Chair—practiced every day by children in elementary schools all across America.

I don’t want to make fun of my son’s teacher.  Standing behind the bright…

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